Even now, trying to come up with words and thoughts to describe the experience I had is like someone asking me to jump up into the sky, and grab part of a cloud. One cannot hold a cloud, but we can see what we want to see when we look up at them. We can imagine what a cloud feels like, we can get in a plane and fly above the clouds, giving us a different view of them, but we still aren’t holding the cloud. The experience I had, was akin being the cloud, the sky, you, and me. It was seeing and experiencing all in existence, physical and non physical, every molecule, every thought…..and it was the most amazing moment of being I can fathom.
The world isn’t small at all, it is overflowing with consciousness and creation. It is ever creating, deconstructing, and creating, becoming brighter and more aware each time it cycles through another creation and deconstruction. Raising it’s vibration, illuminating itself, and expanding.
You may wonder how I got to this point of experience and perspective that I am grappling to articulate and share with you. How did I go from my bedtime routine, to sitting with my eyes wide open, sobbing and gasping, unable to move, seeing and experiencing at the same time this earth shattering miracle. The patterns of light, the flow of the Universe, the method to the madness we see on such a small scale, the perfect and divine geometries of everything in existence, ceasing to be and yet viewing it all and viewing myself viewing it while being it.
Well it all started with light, one night I was laying in bed and I felt a strange urge run my hand across the bedspread, I could feel a soft and faint change in energy in my left hand, so I ran my palm against my purple bedspread, and green light appeared and expanded between my parted fingers, leaving a trail of green light that faded quickly on the blanket. My breath stopped, I tried it again and the same green light appeared. After I went through all of the phases of fear, panic, excitement and shock, and after calling my brother at 1:30 in the morning explaining what was happening. I went to sleep, thinking it wouldn’t happen again. But I was wrong, the next night, the same thing happened, and the one after that and the one after that…. And so I decided to go on a Shamanic Journey to upper world, I went to seek answers and understanding from my teachers. I was preparing for my journey when a stream of consciousness flooded into me, and not for the first time felt like Neo, receiving mega downloads in seconds, and the crazy rush that comes with it. The green light was a specific energy, one I had worked with before. I found that I was finally able to see it and feel it’s presence more because of how everything had aligned perfectly for me to do so. It also signified a time of remembrance, it was time for me to meet my teacher and mentor from another life, and so I began to meet this teacher in deep altered states of meditation. It was after our first session that I came out of that mediation, and got into bed turning over my thoughts of everything I had “remembered” (or re-learned) and that's when this amazing vision and experience opened up in front of me as I was sitting up in my bed. After that night, my sight was different, not my physical eyes, but my inner sight. I suddenly became aware of so much more, everything made sense, I saw patterns in every experience, and I began to see how everything we interact with, every pebble, coffee cup, power cord, holds the vibration and knowledge of everything in existence, and one has only to tune into it to receive that information. That was one of the first things my teacher explained, and it filled me with such connection and remembering that I wept.
After reading this, you may understand why I kept this experience to myself for so long (it’s been about 3 months since It happened) and it didn’t have to do with me fearing what you might think, but more to do with my need to process it, hold it and cherish the gift of that experience. But it has so changed my application to life, that I wanted to share it, because my thoughts and energy have shifted so much now, that I wanted to give some clarity and understanding, as well as gift you this secret to my current being.
I could go on for hours on how nothing is as it seems, that a door knob isn’t just a door knob, but a object created in someone's mind, then manifested and crafted into being, made up of various materials with their own properties, and then fastened onto a door, where the hands of so many beings touch it, transferring a small portion of their energy, and their DNA, and in turn, their ancestry onto it, changing it’s vibration ever so slightly, and how it's a keeper of lineages because of it. But we can also see it as just a shiny knob, that opens your door, and closes it when you leave. The beauty of life is that whatever you are willing to see or experience, is up to you dear one <3
~ Dolinka Dirokshi