The concept of self is something I find incredibly fascinating, the many aspects and versions of ourselves we are aware of and unaware of, the versions we project and present out to the world without a thought, and the version we try so hard to be.
How often in the day are we aware of who we truly are, and what aspects/version are we in that moment? The fragments of my childhood wounds, confident adult, little girl, goddess, artist, helper, healer, critical defeatist, washer of dishes, daughter and the default ego are just a few in my awareness, and yet how many times have I stepped outside my front door completely unaware and in a sort of collective default self? The version most easily accessed and “acceptable” to my ego mind, the most non threatening and non challenging to the world, but probably the most deadly to my spiritual growth and expansion, because I am unaware of it……
Some days I am blessed to remember myself, to come into the space closer to my true self, the heart. To be in the depths of ones heart is to be in a state of authenticity and harmony with ones self.
And to be in that space publicly without fear, is a state of pure bliss and freedom. I think parts of the authentic self come out to play when we tap into the heart space, that feeling when we go into our ancient selves and our natural gifts come forward to be shared.
Tools like meditation, breath work, and other spiritual practices that we do or hear about today are wonderful ways of bringing us back to a whole state of being. But today I want to dive into the more physical experience of self.
I love the fact that certain places can bring us back into our authenticity, just by simply being there and being part of the space. Whether it is a special corner or nook in our homes, the smell of an oil or resin, or our favorite spot on a hike or walk..
Growing up there were a few places that not only brought me back into my true self, but also felt like absolute magic. One place was a walking trail out in the country, one town over from the one I grew up in. The trail started out in thick woods and then went into a orchard of aspen trees, as you make your way through it, you start to feel the magic build until the trail opens up into a beautiful meadow, you then follow the foot path through the meadow and come to a lake, beyond the meadow and beside the lake is a hill with a willow tree draping over the edge of the water. At the top of the hill, a giant majestic oak tree looks over the the landscape. I used to lay on that hill for hours, soaking up the feeling of the earth under me and the sound of the tall grasses in the meadow blowing, adding to the orchestra of the leaves in the aspen trees. My bare feet wet from dipping my them into the lake while running my hands over the surface of the calm water, sometimes words can only convey so much.....
I could launch off into the subject of nature spirits, and the power of the Earth energy, but I'll save that for another time.....
In that special place, it felt like magic and it felt like home. The kind of home that is inside you, it opened up my heart effortlessly and instantly brought me back to a place of remembering. I find it important to have those places, the ones that bring us peace, and facilitate us to remember ourselves, that bring us to a state of oneness with ourselves and the universe. That is, if we let ourselves be present and open to the experience, as adults we are more likely to miss those moments because we are not always used to just allowing, and being part of the environment. It is a practice I find to be fundamental to enjoying life, and to know what it is to be on this earth. Children do this effortlessly, they create special blanket forts or magical places in the back yard, they embrace the whole experience without judgement. We as adults could really use some of that inner freedom!
And so that is why I think this question, “who am I today?” is important and is tied to a lot more than we realize...as with with anything, it can be as expansive or restrictive as we allow it to be. It has the ability to remind us of who we are, that we can be conscious of ourselves, to acknowledge the broken fragmented bits of our consciousness, and use the heart as the filter through which we view the world, and see ourselves for the light we really are. This is how true connection is born, and living in harmony with each other begins~
And so I ask you today, who are you?
Dolinka Dirokshi ~